'AITA for telling my brother his kid's don't owe his wife's children their inheritance?'

"AITA for telling my brother not to blame our family or his wife's family for their regret?"

Much-Candy121 writes:

My brother and his wife got married about six years ago. They were two single parents who wanted to be married to each other, but the kids were not as into the idea as the adults. So, they decided to live as a married couple with two separate families.

My brother's kids were parented by my brother and my brother only. His wife's kids were parented by his wife and his wife only. His kids interacted with our family. Her kids interacted with hers. The kids interacted with their biological siblings only.

They were not a blended family or even a family unit. It was very much two family units centered around a married couple. It was weird to members on both sides of their families, but it just was what it was.

I always saw a time when they would regret it, especially if they ever wanted to change how things worked and the kids were against it or no love developed for step-relatives we have no ongoing relationship with. But I also knew it wasn't my place to interfere.

Well, the day has come and regret has already sunk in. My brother's oldest graduated high school a couple of weeks ago, and my parents told them that they had saved for each grandkid's future and they now had access to money to pay for college or to get them started if they went for an apprenticeship.

Of course, my brother's oldest was excited. But my brother and his wife were not so much, because the money saved will be for each biological grandkid, not the wife's kids, and they do not have the same help and support from their biological grandparents.

My brother and his wife told my parents they can't give to some and not all. They said the stepkids are not a part of our family and are not their grandkids and therefore they do not owe them any money. My brother attempted to talk to his kids about the money and they said they didn't care about his wife's kids or if they struggle or not, so they're not worried about them.

My brother and his wife are now pissed with both their families for the "very clear and very hurtful divide in their family," and I told my brother he has no business blaming us for the regret he and his wife feel when they made the decisions they did and now have the outcome that was always inevitable. I told him the kids all seem happy, so they should get over it. He was pissed. AITA?

OP responded to some comments:

Rough_Homework6913 says:

NTA (Not the A^%@ole) your brother really expects your parents to pay for children that they apparently haven’t even spent any time with? That’s wild. they aren’t the one that’s caused this great divide. Your brother and his wife are here.

OP responded:

He did, they both did, which is so wild to me.

Rough_Homework6913 responded:

They literally chose to raise the kids like this though. There are some people that I just can’t understand this feels like just pure greediness to me.

OP responded:

I know and it was fully their decision to go the path they did. But we're all to blame for it apparently.

C_Majuscala writes:

NTA. Their plan was literally the path of least resistance (for them) and that generally has consequences. They either should not have gotten married or everyone should have been in counseling to at least get to a place where they lived together and could be civil.

OP responded:

Her family suggested they could wait until the kids were out of the house to live together and get married if they didn't want to deal with any issues creating a blended family.

What do you think?