Man 'gives away' wife's cat she has 'unhealthy' relationship with. AITA? UPDATED

"My husband (42M) got rid of my (42F) cat to someone who won’t give him back."

After my dad passed, I was feeling very down, like I had a hole that I couldn’t fill. I was finding it hard to keep myself busy around the house during the day so I decided to adopt my cat Benji. I rescued him when he was so small he fit in the palm of my hand and have had him for 2 years.

This may sound crazy to some, but I really believe Benji is the reincarnation of my dad. When I look into his eyes, I feel something more than a cat. Like a cat born with a human soul. All the timing adds up, it all makes sense to me at least. Even if I am crazy the thought brings me comfort and I don’t see anything wrong with it.

My husband thinks this is strange and unhealthy. He says my bond with the cat freaks him out, and makes him uncomfortable that I truly believe he has my dads soul. It’s been two years since he died, Benji really saved me.

He’s the best companion I could’ve asked for. I mean, there’s nothing better than being able to cuddle up with an animal that loves you at the end of a long day. Though hubby would disagree.

Now I went on a girls trip with my sisters and mom for her birthday, and while I was gone my husband decided he was going to rehome my cat without my permission. I had no idea what was going on while I was out. When I came home and couldn’t find the cat my first thought was that he must have somehow made his way outside.

This already worried me because we never let him out, God knows what could happen to him out there! After my frantic search inside and on my way outside to keep searching, hubby informs me that Benji is “staying with a friend” WHAT!! So I demanded that he called to take him back ASAP! He wouldn’t, but thankfully he had told me who he gave my cat too, so I had to make some calls of my own.

Benji is currently stuck with my husbands coworker. We aren’t good friends, but we are friendly, have dinner together sometimes etc. So I called the coworker asking for my cat back, and he tells me my husband gave him away fair and square and he won’t be returning my cat! My husband had no right, the cat has always been only mine.

I adopted him, I raised him, I care for him, I’m the only one who ever spends any money on him. I am at a loss right now. Benji has never been through anything like this and I can only imagine the stress he must be feeling right now. I know I sure am.

So many things are racing through my mind right now. My cats safety. Extreme disappointment in my husband. I’m disgusted he would even think about something like this. I have no idea what to do now and where to start. I just want my cat back safely and then will have to deal with hubby.

Here's what people had to say after the original post:

Zulias writes:

I assume you have paperwork on the cat, from a vet or a breeder, and can prove it's yours. Animals are property. This is theft. Call the police.

Uningo1306 writes:

Everyone is ignoring what a terrible husband she has. Just tell him to get ur cat back or you will ask for a divorce.

Kroniid09 writes:

Do both, who tf gives away their spouse's pet? OP needs help cause the mindset is unhealthy but it hurts no one for her to have and love this animal.

squaredistrict2213 writes:

From a legal standpoint, I believe (I’m not a lawyer) that it would fall under marital property so the husband (legally speaking only) was within this right to give the cat away. I’m not saying it’s right, that was really really shitty of him, but since no laws were broken, the police wouldn’t be able to help.

Land-Dolphin1 writes:

Depending on the state, If she got the cat prior to marriage, it would be a premarital asset that he doesn’t have the right to. I’d be afraid the cat may not really be at the coworkers home. I’d want evidence of the cat’s safety and well being. If not, call every shelter in the area. Hopefully kitty is microchipped.

Update one day later:

Thank you all for the support and advice, it means so much to me! I would’ve never expected to get so much reach! You are all such kind souls

First, I filed a police report, I collected as much proof of ownership as possible. Then I reached out to the coworkers wife and explained what was going on, and promptly asked them to return Benji. She then informed me that she had no idea what I was talking about. At this point I was furious with rage.

I asked my husband WTF was going on?! Told him I have police involved and he needs to give up the cat ASAP! Turns out Benji was at a local shelter. Never was with the coworker at all.

I immediately tracked the shelter down to retrieve my boy, I had all my documents needed to prove he is mine, and he has a microchip. I took him straight to my sisters house, where I will also be staying for the time being. My sister had been through divorce and has remarried, so she will help me get all my ducks in a row and prepare to file for divorce.

I am heartbroken, but also incredibly thankful that my poor boy is now home safe! He was clearly stressed and confused but he is settling in quite well at my sisters. My brother will be picking up any necessities from my house for me, I haven’t been home or seen my husband since I left for the shelter.

My family has supported me in my decisions and they are all willing to do whatever it takes to help me when I may need them.

Again thank you all so much for the kind words and concern. I was so surprised to see people wanting Benji updates! This experience has been very eye opening to say the least, in so many ways. ♥️♥️♥️

Here's what people had to say to OP after the update:

Ginboy32 asks:

So does your husband know you are divorcing him over this? Was he shocked you had the police involved?

ThrowRAneedhlp OP responded:

I believe the only reason he gave up the shelter so easily is because he definitely wasn’t expecting police involvement! I told him I was out of there and I’d see him in court!

Load_Altruistic writes:

It’s always surprising to me that people will do sh*t like this and never once think ‘hmmm, this might end my relationship’

Apprehensive_Pea7911 writes:

What if that was the husband's plan all along?

peakpenguins says:

I'm so glad you got Benji back! Wishing you luck in healing from this and moving forward.

Smart_Space_1045 says:

I'm so happy that you located Benji and that he was safe and back with you. Oh and good for you divorcing your vile husband let your family help you and support you. Send you and Benji love and positive thoughts.

ThrowRAneedhlp OP responded:

Thank you so much!